Setting Goals to Change a Belief

Well, today is the day that I set some hard and fast goals that will change a belief.  Of course, being the person that I am, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to change first.  One of the things that ScottHYoung.com recommends is to get everything out of your head.

When I think about beliefs and what I want to change, many things start swirling around in my head like a tornado.  So, I got a piece of paper and just started writing.  I didn't worry about where on the paper I was writing, what the words were, or if it was remotely grammatically correct.  I just let that storm in my head flow onto the paper.  Then I picked one.

I have bought into the belief that my body isn't able to do some of the things that I want to achieve for a long time.  I have felt that I am stuck at this weight and cannot be a size 4 again.  As a matter of fact, I have set my diet goals at a size 8 because I felt like that was more attainable.  Then I said if I lost 20 lbs I would be happy.  The truth is that a size 4-6 is what makes me happy.  I need to change that belief that I cannot achieve that size.  I need to believe that even at this age I am able to enjoy all of the activities that I want to enjoy.

The ultimate goal is to be healthier and more toned.

Why I want to achieve this goal?

Health:  Today I hurt as I do every day.  I experience back spasms regularly and general aches and pains all day.  But, I believe that changing my diet to include non-toxic foods and good sources of protein will significantly improve my overall health.

Toned body:  There is nothing more beautiful than a toned body.  Muscular definition and lack of fat rolls are a very appealing result of changing my lifestyle.

Clothes:  I love gorgeous clothes, but at my current weight I can't fit into the things that make me the happiest.

Flexibility:  I want to have a body that doesn't have limitations in regular movements.  I feel that great flexibility will increase the youthfulness of my body.

Clear mind:  I think that a healthy body and diet provide a healthy, clear mind.  I want to keep my mind healthy and working well into my golden years.

Physical ability:  I want to be able to climb mountains, ski, or run.  I want the physical ability to do anything that I want to do.

How I will achieve this goal.

  For 30 days I will follow these eating guidelines.

1. Eliminate foods that trigger allergies in the body:  wheat, sugar and dairy.
2. Eat as much organic produce, meat and grains as possible.
3. Balance my meal intake with complex carbohydrates and protein.
4. Eat 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.
5. Drink 3-5 cups of green tea per day.
6. Prepare a weekly menu and shop once a week.
7. Write down everything that I put in my mouth.
8. Give myself 1 day a week that I can eat anything that I want.
9. Eat out no more than 2x per week.

  For 30 days I will follow these exercise guidelines.

1. Start slow and build up endurance and strength.
2. Aerobic exercise 3x per week a minimum of 20 minutes.
3. Yoga 2x per week.
4. Strength training 2x per week.
5. I will keep a journal of all physical activity and how I felt emotionally that day.

For 30 days I will do the following:

1. Visit a chiropractor 2x per month.
2. Visit a massage therapist 1-2x per month.
3. Take a sauna a minimum of 1x per week.

I will keep you posted on how this is working for me!!!

Changing my beliefs

It's been quite awhile since I posted on this blog.  I guess you could say that I'm still trying to find myself.  As it happens, I got a little lost along the way.  Such a familiar story.  I had good intentions, the time, the resources and just didn't have the motivation or direction to keep the engine running.

If you've been reading my stuff for very long then you've heard me say, "I've been giving it a lot of thought...".  That, I believe, is my problem.  I get stuck in my head a lot of the time.  I'm thinking, pondering, analyzing instead of doing.  I've always been a big dreamer and I've always known that implementation was my weakness.  But, one of the things that I've been pondering and studying got me looking at that last statement in a different light.

"Known" is a really strong word.  What do you know for sure?  You know that you love your family.  You know that you are a certain height.  There are some things that we can say with certainty...I know.

Then there are things that are beliefs and not certainties.  I only believe that I am a poor implementor.  Granted, I am basing this belief on years of experience, but it is still only a belief.  Nobody controls that belief except for me.  Now, I could start saying that I was a good implementor, but that wouldn't be a truth.  In my heart, I would still believe that I was not good at implementation unless I did something differently.

Ah, there it is.  You've heard it a dozen times at least...change your beliefs and change your life.  But, can you just flip a switch and change your belief?  I don't think so.  But, then again, that is my personal belief!

I've tried telling myself all kinds of stories to change my beliefs.  For a few days I might start feeling a little better.  I might be buying into the story that I was a great implementor.  And I might start making plans based on that story.  But, it faded...it always faded.  That has left me feeling like I didn't have the right stuff to change my beliefs.

Then I found a very cool blog that made that whole changing your beliefs thing a lot simpler.  ScottHYoung.com is a great blog by a very young man.  I read an entry in his blog and liked it.  I saw that he had challenged himself to learn the MIT Computer Science curriculum (4 years) in 12 months and decided he was a very cool dude.  So, I read a little more.

This young, can't be terribly experienced, man laid out a pretty good plan for changing beliefs.  He started with a plan (written down), an action to accomplish the plan and a weekly postmortem to review and adjust.  Do this for a month.  Accomplish the plan and see evidence of a changed result which will lead to being able to change your belief.

For someone like me, who needs black and white proof, this is the most straight forward way of changing beliefs I have ever seen.  In all the books that I have read, I've seen the statement, "change your beliefs and change your life."  What I didn't see was a plan!!

So, I am going to do some work to figure out which belief to start with.  I'll let you know how it is going!

Just do it!

The idea of a bucket list isn't foreign to most people.  Many have made lists of things they would like to do in their lifetime.  There was a movie dedicated to living out a bucket list.  Even if it isn't written down, almost everyone has those things that they hope to have the chance to experience.

Your list may lean toward travel or adventure.  Others may have a list of things they would like to learn.  The truth is that a bucket list is extremely personal.  I made mine when I was in college.  Which means that I didn't take into consideration my family, where I would live or my income.  I just wanted to do these things at some point in my life.

For a few years, after college, I tried to do at least one thing on my list a year (my list is rather long with about 150 items).  I went skydiving, rode in a helicopter, got my motorcycle license, went scuba diving and got married.  Then, of course, life got in the way.  I moved a few times and couldn't find my list.  Then, it would surface again and I would read it over thinking, "I need to do something again."

My list is again missing after a recent move.  But, I can't get it off my mind.  Last weekend I took an incredibly impulsive trip to New York with a girlfriend.  I had read about an exhibit that I really wanted to see.  I mentioned it to a friend of mine and she said she would go.  Her fiancee suggested that we use his points for one night in the hotel and Mark's for another.  We found a weekend that worked and booked the trip.  We were in New York in less than 3 weeks after deciding to go.  The only thing we had planned was the exhibit.  The rest we just went with the flow and had the time of our lives!

I've been over analyzing things for so long.  I have things on my list I could start working on today.  My copy of War and Peace is upstairs, I want to learn Chinese, I want to read the Bible from cover to cover,  I want to learn more about professional sports, I want to learn more about classical music.  The list is full of things that I want to learn.  These don't cost me anything and I have time.  So why haven't I done any of these?   I just haven't.

But that stops today.  I might start something and decide that I really don't want to do it...and that is okay.  But at least I will have started and made an adult decision.  So, no thinking...Just do it!!

Inspiration leads to possibilities

Inspiration is a funny thing.  It can come from so many things.  As I hiked through the woods yesterday I was inspired to let my mind go.  The butterflies, breeze rustling the leaves and the twisted tree roots helped me to let go of conscious thought and walk through possibility.

My possibilities have also been inspired.  Over the last couple of weeks I have had the pleasure of connecting with women who are doing what they have seen as possibility.  Cricket (yes that is her name) saw the possibility years ago to standardize sizing in for women in the clothing industry.  She is launching under her own name next week.  Sydney travels all over the world, many times alone, to experience everything that she can.  Esther is saving to spend 6 months in Milan taking a design course.  Sonya is launching her own style academy with students coming from all over the world.  These women have inspired me to examine my dreams and make something happen.

Since we've been in Charlotte I have mulled over hundreds of ideas for what I want to do.  I have always wanted to help women in some way.  I have a soft spot for women who work hard to make their dreams come true.  I feel very strongly that relationships and collaboration are key to any success.  I think that beautiful surroundings make it easier to work.  I think that presenting your best self helps to open doors.  I think that your personal space needs to be an "ahhhhh" at the end of the day.  These are beliefs that have never changed.  Since the time that I first launched my own business, these are the things that I held as truth.

So, when I connect with women who are achieving what seems impossible for many, it makes me believe in the impossible.  I know what I think is important and valuable so I let that steep.  I let my hike be a meditation time for how I want to grow, support, create and more.  A picture starts to emerge in my mind.

I'm excited to let the inspiration work on what is starting to gel.  What I learned this week is to listen and pay attention.  Learning about others has helped to light a fire in my imagination.  Now, I can let my imagination and inspiration work to figure out what is next in my life.

5 tips for an elegant and inexpensive evening with friends

I love entertaining and could have people to my house every day!!  Summer is a great time to invite people to spend an evening on the deck.  Of course, I never have anyone to my home that there isn't food and something to drink.  As much as I love to entertain, that can get expensive.

Over time I've realized that people are really pretty easy.  Most come for the company, not the food and drinks.  So with just a little effort you can make an inexpensive evening look like an elegant affair.


First, it is all about presentation.  You can actually get away with small servings and light fare if it is presented beautifully.  Use pretty bowls.  You can usually pick up cool bowls for under $5.00 at Marshall's or TJMaxx.  Or, use mini appetizer plates and bowls to create a tapas style buffet.  Make your own hummus which is inexpensive, easy and a great conversation starter.  And always serve what is in season.

Second, ditch the bottles and serve water from a pretty pitcher.  You can slice lemons, oranges, cucumbers or anything else that has a fresh flavor and float them in the pitcher.  Put out two pitchers with different fruits.  The more slices you add, the stronger the flavor.

Third, if you want to have cocktails then create a signature drink.  Try a porchcrawler or bellini's for a light, pretty cocktail.  Put in your invite that you will be serving a special cocktail and that guests are welcome to bring anything else they would like to drink.  It is appropriate to allow people to bring something else and appropriate if you are serving a limited drink selection (as long as you have water or some other non-alcoholic option).


Fourth, make your setting company ready.  Using things that you already have, make the place where you want people to mingle special.  Maybe you light candles, put on music or even put out pictures that will spur conversation.  Make sure that there is seating that allows for conversation.  You can move chairs into conversation pits for the event.  Also make sure that your "company" bathroom is clean and has toilet paper, soap and a clean hand towel.


Finally, spend time with your guests.  They've come to see you so don't spend time worrying about the dishes or running around refilling glasses.  If you have everything premixed and ready you can focus on enjoying your guests.  That's why you invited them over, right?

Architect of my life

I'm almost overwhelmed by the possibilities that I face today.  That may seem like a strange problem to have but most of us, when faced with unlimited options, feel almost paralyzed.  When I get like this it is important for me to go back to basics.

At the very core of "me" are my joys, my skills, my talents and my values.  I have spent soooo much time exploring these things this year.  I know with certainty that there are two things that I must have to enjoy what I am doing.  Relationships and beauty are what feed my soul.

I've spent this past week getting to know women that I recently met.  I've had such a good time finding out about them and building a foundation for relationships.  This has been the absolute happiest week of my time in Charlotte.  Well, duh!!  My number one core value was being exercised this week for the first time in a long time.

I've met women in cool little bakeries, bistros and cafes.  We've talked about travel, jewelry, clothes and everything else.  My beauty value was pinging on several different levels.

But, one of the most difficult things to do when you are getting to know someone is to answer the question, "What do you do?", when you currently don't feel like you're doing anything!  I talk about what I have done.  I talk about what I think I might like to do.  I've asked every single person I meet if they know someone at RR Donnelley (there is a job that appears to be perfect for me...on paper).

After a few weeks of reaching out to friends across the country about the RR Donnelley job, I became discouraged.  I spent quite a bit of time the other day googling, researching and trying to find any information that I could about the company (other than what is on their corporate website).  Funny, yesterday I stumbled upon this site that allows current and past employees to rate how it is to work for the company.  They are able to say what is good, what is bad and advice they would give management.  I was absolutely blown away at the very negative comments that I was seeing.  I realize that disgruntled employees are usually the ones that post these things.  But, the comments had a common thread and were from different divisions all over the country.  Hmmm...makes me wonder if I might have not been finding the right person to help me for a reason.

So, if I put that out of my mind, then what?  I've met lovely ladies that have successful multi-level marketing companies.  I've met women who have great ideas for new companies.  And, I've been told over and over that working with women around their appearance, continuing with my green designs and starting my body scrub business again is a great idea.  Oh, and did I mention that I am writing a fashion column for the Examiner?  AHHHHHH!!!  My mind is going a million miles an hour.

Focus, Gini, Focus!!  With too many ideas running around in my head I decided that I had to start from the beginning.  Take my core values and my joy.  Those are really the only things that cannot be ignored when visualizing.  Skills and talents can be acquired, but if you use them against your personal values and they don't bring you joy, then they don't matter.

I sit down to write what my life looks like in my head.  I see myself in a lovely room that is elegant and comfortable all at the same time.  There would be fresh peonies on my white, distressed writing desk.  My dogs would be curled up on pretty, furniture like beds.  Guests never sit across the desk from me.  I have a seating area with a velvet couch and several comfy side chairs.  The art on the wall is plentiful, in ornate (antique maybe) frames that are painted in metallic or distressed cream color.  The walls are a lovely charcoal grey.  I say a room, not necessarily an office because this is a place where women gather.  They come here to congregate, learn from each other and find out what is new in the world of beauty, health, fashion and travel.  There is a time that is set and everyone comes together at once.  I am a hostess of sorts.  But, there are times when women just wander in and find themselves visiting with other women who are there.  The air is filled with the scent of flowers and baking.  This place is for women only.  It is a comfortable, non-pretentious, soul-filling kind of place.  It doesn't matter whether these women own their own business, have a job at all or work in the corporate world.  You can come in yoga pants or a ball gown.  This place is where everyone is equal.  Behavior is inclusive and the people are courteous and welcoming or they can't come back.

From an environment perspective this is completely what I want to see in my life.  I also need to have something that allows me to create.  I love the feeling of seeing something that I completely created come to life.  The finished product gives me such a sense of satisfaction.  Probably my favorite thing that I have created to date are my body scrubs.  I had men and women come in to my store over and over to get their favorite scrubs.  I love the scents, finding just the right combination of oils, exfoliants and butters to make the perfect scrub.  I loved hearing someone say that they were addicted to the way my scrubs made their skin feel.


So, how do I take all of this and put it together in an actual plan?  That is my next step!!

When the stars align

For those of you who know me well, you know I wasn't thrilled about the move to Charlotte.  Not that I had anything against this town.  It was just that I loved my friends in St. Louis, where were going to live and what I was able to do.  Charlotte meant me starting all over in business and with friends.

We've been here a year this month.  I know, that is crazy to imagine.  But, we have been inundated with house stuff, family stuff and sports!  This is the first time I have been able to focus on what is next for me.  I know, I said I was going to find myself before dinner, but I think it is more like finding myself before Christmas!!

I decided a couple of weeks ago to attend the eWomen Networking luncheon.  The St. Louis chapter was a great place for me in terms of connecting me to people who have turned into life-long friends.  I didn't really have high hopes for one meeting.  It takes several to begin to develop a relationship.  So, I collected cards and sent emails as soon as I got home.

This week I have had coffee with 3 fantastic women that I met that day.  All of them have been wonderful.  But today was a particularly exciting.  I met Coliesta Vidak at Amelie's French Bakery for coffee.  We instantly talked about a hundred things that we had in common.  I told her that I was trying to find someone to smudge my house and get rid of all the bad energy.  She does that!!  Then Charlene Neville, a great friend of Coliesta's joined us.  We chatted for over an hour.

I had arranged for Sydney Duarte to meet me at this coffee shop so she joined us.  Her zest for life inspired all of us!  We were having a wonderful time and another woman asked what we were talking about.  She is a makeup artist and heard us talking about image.  Turns out we live in the same part of town and her husband played football at the university my stepson is looking at.  He also played for the Bears, which is just really cool to throw in.   A lady at the table behind us introduced herself and talked with us for awhile.

Clearly the attraction energy was very high today.  I know that I met some women who will be long term friends.  I had hoped to meet some new friends.  But, what I received today was way beyond expectation!!

Color me grateful :)