What is your core story?

I believe that fear is the number one thing that keeps us from doing things we dream about.  I've come to this conclusion for a couple of reasons.  I know that I am smart and capable.  When I decide that I want something I can generally make it happen.  I also know that I am not doing what I was meant to be doing in this life.  Taking these things into consideration made me search for the "why" of the situation.  I discovered that fear is what holds me back from just leaping.

You may recall that I touched on this briefly the other day.  I said that I had bought a book about being fearless.  Then I bought another book about fear.  I really want to understand what makes us afraid and how to overcome the fear to achieve great things.  The Solution by Lucinda Bassett, tells us to start by writing our core story.

Our core story are the events, the feelings, the interpersonal communications that occurred early in our lives.  These are the things that we can look back at and say that they shaped who we are today.  This story is deeply personal.  I will tell you that when I began this exercise I wrote down some things that I haven't thought about in years.  I won't share my whole core story with you.  I'm not even sure that I have written the whole story yet.  But, I will give you an example.

For those of you who knew me in high school, you will get a kick out of this.  Jimmy Lipsey (yes, it was painful enough to remember his name all these years) was in my homeroom class.  He wasn't a friend but we were friendly.  One day I wore a dress to school, which I had never done before, and while in homeroom Jimmy said to anyone who would listen, "look at those legs...they look like fat little sausages."  I didn't wear a dress any more often than I had to for years.  But, that isn't even the point.

I love fashion.  I love the artistic quality of clothing.  I love how clothes enhance and drape bodies.  I love textures, color and fluidity of fabrics.  I can actually sew and I have a great eye for what will flatter most.  Sounds like someone who should be a fashion designer, right?  But, here is where part of my core story comes into play.  You would expect the incident above to ruin my day, but what about my dream? Part of my story has been that someone with sausage legs could never be a designer.  Someone built like me would be laughed out of the fashion designer club.  The story goes on and on.  It may sound silly to you reading this.  So, I challenge you to look at your own story.

Can you pinpoint something that had an impact so great on you that it has caused you to fear someone laughing at you, someone not liking you, looking stupid, etc.?  Can you begin to tell your core story?

NOTE:  Just for the record...Jimmy Lipsey was a stupid, high school boy.  He said a mean thing, but I own the story.  I have the power to rewrite and in no way hold him accountable for my fear!