Architect of my life

I'm almost overwhelmed by the possibilities that I face today.  That may seem like a strange problem to have but most of us, when faced with unlimited options, feel almost paralyzed.  When I get like this it is important for me to go back to basics.

At the very core of "me" are my joys, my skills, my talents and my values.  I have spent soooo much time exploring these things this year.  I know with certainty that there are two things that I must have to enjoy what I am doing.  Relationships and beauty are what feed my soul.

I've spent this past week getting to know women that I recently met.  I've had such a good time finding out about them and building a foundation for relationships.  This has been the absolute happiest week of my time in Charlotte.  Well, duh!!  My number one core value was being exercised this week for the first time in a long time.

I've met women in cool little bakeries, bistros and cafes.  We've talked about travel, jewelry, clothes and everything else.  My beauty value was pinging on several different levels.

But, one of the most difficult things to do when you are getting to know someone is to answer the question, "What do you do?", when you currently don't feel like you're doing anything!  I talk about what I have done.  I talk about what I think I might like to do.  I've asked every single person I meet if they know someone at RR Donnelley (there is a job that appears to be perfect for me...on paper).

After a few weeks of reaching out to friends across the country about the RR Donnelley job, I became discouraged.  I spent quite a bit of time the other day googling, researching and trying to find any information that I could about the company (other than what is on their corporate website).  Funny, yesterday I stumbled upon this site that allows current and past employees to rate how it is to work for the company.  They are able to say what is good, what is bad and advice they would give management.  I was absolutely blown away at the very negative comments that I was seeing.  I realize that disgruntled employees are usually the ones that post these things.  But, the comments had a common thread and were from different divisions all over the country.  Hmmm...makes me wonder if I might have not been finding the right person to help me for a reason.

So, if I put that out of my mind, then what?  I've met lovely ladies that have successful multi-level marketing companies.  I've met women who have great ideas for new companies.  And, I've been told over and over that working with women around their appearance, continuing with my green designs and starting my body scrub business again is a great idea.  Oh, and did I mention that I am writing a fashion column for the Examiner?  AHHHHHH!!!  My mind is going a million miles an hour.

Focus, Gini, Focus!!  With too many ideas running around in my head I decided that I had to start from the beginning.  Take my core values and my joy.  Those are really the only things that cannot be ignored when visualizing.  Skills and talents can be acquired, but if you use them against your personal values and they don't bring you joy, then they don't matter.

I sit down to write what my life looks like in my head.  I see myself in a lovely room that is elegant and comfortable all at the same time.  There would be fresh peonies on my white, distressed writing desk.  My dogs would be curled up on pretty, furniture like beds.  Guests never sit across the desk from me.  I have a seating area with a velvet couch and several comfy side chairs.  The art on the wall is plentiful, in ornate (antique maybe) frames that are painted in metallic or distressed cream color.  The walls are a lovely charcoal grey.  I say a room, not necessarily an office because this is a place where women gather.  They come here to congregate, learn from each other and find out what is new in the world of beauty, health, fashion and travel.  There is a time that is set and everyone comes together at once.  I am a hostess of sorts.  But, there are times when women just wander in and find themselves visiting with other women who are there.  The air is filled with the scent of flowers and baking.  This place is for women only.  It is a comfortable, non-pretentious, soul-filling kind of place.  It doesn't matter whether these women own their own business, have a job at all or work in the corporate world.  You can come in yoga pants or a ball gown.  This place is where everyone is equal.  Behavior is inclusive and the people are courteous and welcoming or they can't come back.

From an environment perspective this is completely what I want to see in my life.  I also need to have something that allows me to create.  I love the feeling of seeing something that I completely created come to life.  The finished product gives me such a sense of satisfaction.  Probably my favorite thing that I have created to date are my body scrubs.  I had men and women come in to my store over and over to get their favorite scrubs.  I love the scents, finding just the right combination of oils, exfoliants and butters to make the perfect scrub.  I loved hearing someone say that they were addicted to the way my scrubs made their skin feel.


So, how do I take all of this and put it together in an actual plan?  That is my next step!!