Who am I?

So I begin this journey with the thought that making time to do something for me, practicing yoga, meditation, visualization, yadda yadda yadda would be the way to go.  But, yesterday as I am trying to organize my thoughts around this idea I kept getting noise.

You know what I mean....when you start to focus on something and you get a hundred ideas rushing into your head.  It's like you meant to turn the faucet on to get a nice steady stream, nothing to strong so that it doesn't splash and make a mess everywhere, and instead you get a gusher.  I didn't have focus, my mind was racing and I was exhausted by dinner.  I was actually too tired to eat.

Frustrated because I thought this process would be energizing I just went to bed.  When I woke up this morning I was still tired.  I laid there thinking maybe I bit off more than I can chew.  Maybe this quest is too big for me for where I am right now.  Depressed I started to wonder when would be the right time.

That question led me to ask, "When was the time in my life that I felt my best?  When did I feel like I was doing what I should be doing and I was where I should be?"  Of course, there isn't one easy answer to these questions.  There are different times in my life that I was in a good place for different reasons.  So I refined the question a little.

I asked myself, "When was I the most comfortable in my skin?"  Bingo, that's the question.  There have been a lot of times that were good for different reasons but that weren't necessarily comfortable.  A couple of things instantly came to mind.

Situations where I have made a significant contribution and been recognized for my efforts.  All right, you might not agree that recognition is important; but I do know that about myself.  You take enough of these personality tests (Myers-Briggs, DISC) and you discover things about yourself that are true even if they aren't flattering.  I need pats on the back.

The other thought that comes to mind instantly is when I have a very close group of friends that feel like family.  Because I have moved so much I find myself starting this process over and over all the time.  We just left St. Louis where I have a wonderful group of friends.  We were in and out of each others homes, businesses and lives every day.  So small, close groups....check!

So the noise starts to subside a little.  That leaves me to figure out how this applies to my journey.  I'm sure it's meaningful, but how?  At least there is some progress.  Hallelujah!!