Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Making a Living vs. Making a Life

As many of you know I have been struggling with my identity during this journey.  Since I don't make money at the moment I wonder what my personal value is.  I posted the other day that accomplishment is of great value to me.  I measure accomplishment by the amount of money that I get paid.

Right or wrong, I have been in the workforce for a long time and as my salary increased I felt more accomplished.  So, I am programmed that way.  A girlfriend, who is reading along, suggested the book Becoming a Chief Home Officer.  That made me take a deep breath because the anxiety of being "at home" is overwhelming.

Luckily, today my coach agreed to meet with me even though it wasn't our scheduled time.  I expressed this feeling of chaos and anxiety over not having accomplishments.  She listened and kept asking me what I wanted out of this journey.  She keeps asking that question!!

She specifically asked me whether I was wanting to find the thing that would turn into my career or was I trying to figure out something else?  I said I thought it was something else.  So she asked me if I wanted to figure out what I lost when making all of these compromises in my life or did I want to have new experiences?  At first I said I thought I wanted to figure out what I lost.  The next question was when I found the pieces that were lost along the way, would I feel satisfied and would it lead me to the "accomplishment" that I keep looking for?  Ugh!!

The questions go on and on.  That is her job :)  We finally got down to this:


  • I am interested in a lot of different things.  
  • It doesn't matter if I try something new and it doesn't end up being a life-long career.
  • I will take something away from any new experience. 
  • I may find a passion that I was not aware of.
  • I might find the pieces I think I'm missing while having new experiences.
  • My skills and talents may expand.
  • I will be able to satisfy my need for connecting with people by having new experiences.
  • Accomplishment is not about money (BIG, HUGE...almost buying it revelation).
The point of this is that I have been making a living for a long time.  I have shifted into making a life instead.  

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