The art of joy is having a love affair with life. It is embracing life, drawing close to you all the beauty and wonder and goodness of the universe. It is having a heart aglow with warmth for all your companions on the journey of life. It is making the most of now, enjoying what is at hand. It is the putting forth of all your powers. As you work with joy, you find joy in your work. Joy is love bubbling forth into life.
Wilferd Peterson
My mother had written this on a beautiful card for me years ago. I found it when we moved and put it in my kitchen to remind me every morning what I should be doing. Sometimes I forget to read it, but when I do I am moved and want to embrace all that life has to offer.
Showing posts with label Journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journey. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Making a Living vs. Making a Life
As many of you know I have been struggling with my identity during this journey. Since I don't make money at the moment I wonder what my personal value is. I posted the other day that accomplishment is of great value to me. I measure accomplishment by the amount of money that I get paid.
Right or wrong, I have been in the workforce for a long time and as my salary increased I felt more accomplished. So, I am programmed that way. A girlfriend, who is reading along, suggested the book Becoming a Chief Home Officer. That made me take a deep breath because the anxiety of being "at home" is overwhelming.
Luckily, today my coach agreed to meet with me even though it wasn't our scheduled time. I expressed this feeling of chaos and anxiety over not having accomplishments. She listened and kept asking me what I wanted out of this journey. She keeps asking that question!!
She specifically asked me whether I was wanting to find the thing that would turn into my career or was I trying to figure out something else? I said I thought it was something else. So she asked me if I wanted to figure out what I lost when making all of these compromises in my life or did I want to have new experiences? At first I said I thought I wanted to figure out what I lost. The next question was when I found the pieces that were lost along the way, would I feel satisfied and would it lead me to the "accomplishment" that I keep looking for? Ugh!!
The questions go on and on. That is her job :) We finally got down to this:
Right or wrong, I have been in the workforce for a long time and as my salary increased I felt more accomplished. So, I am programmed that way. A girlfriend, who is reading along, suggested the book Becoming a Chief Home Officer. That made me take a deep breath because the anxiety of being "at home" is overwhelming.
Luckily, today my coach agreed to meet with me even though it wasn't our scheduled time. I expressed this feeling of chaos and anxiety over not having accomplishments. She listened and kept asking me what I wanted out of this journey. She keeps asking that question!!
She specifically asked me whether I was wanting to find the thing that would turn into my career or was I trying to figure out something else? I said I thought it was something else. So she asked me if I wanted to figure out what I lost when making all of these compromises in my life or did I want to have new experiences? At first I said I thought I wanted to figure out what I lost. The next question was when I found the pieces that were lost along the way, would I feel satisfied and would it lead me to the "accomplishment" that I keep looking for? Ugh!!
The questions go on and on. That is her job :) We finally got down to this:
- I am interested in a lot of different things.
- It doesn't matter if I try something new and it doesn't end up being a life-long career.
- I will take something away from any new experience.
- I may find a passion that I was not aware of.
- I might find the pieces I think I'm missing while having new experiences.
- My skills and talents may expand.
- I will be able to satisfy my need for connecting with people by having new experiences.
- Accomplishment is not about money (BIG, HUGE...almost buying it revelation).
The point of this is that I have been making a living for a long time. I have shifted into making a life instead.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What do you value?
When I started Step 3, writing down what my values are, I got overwhelmed. I value so much in life that the list is truly exhausting. So, I put down my pencil and thought of this a different way. I mean, if you really think about it, there is value in almost everything. What I was trying to get at was what are my non-negotiable values.
To make it a little easier I tried to get outside of myself. Thinking about the values that I admire in the people closest to me. Thinking about the things that I work hard to maintain and enjoy every day. What really means the most to me?
If I put it in those terms I come up with a quick list of values:
relationships
family
aesthetics
knowledge
faith
acknowledgment
freedom
growth
I know you may look at this list and say, well duh, who doesn't value those things. But really think about it. Is it important to you that things look pretty? That might not be high on everyone's list, but it is important to me. I value pretty. I work really hard to make our home, our yard and our stuff beautiful. I like to present dinner on pretty plates. I like my work space to be pretty. It is important to me. That might not be high on everyone's list. But, knowing myself, I'm not happy if it isn't pretty.
So you can see how starting to put down values and really thinking about where they fall in importance can help you to see how your talents/skills will match up. Speaking of talents/skills, I think that is a much harder task to identify those. I'm working on it. But, I kept coming back to...how does that fit in my value list? So, I decided to focus on this one first.
What is your most important value?
To make it a little easier I tried to get outside of myself. Thinking about the values that I admire in the people closest to me. Thinking about the things that I work hard to maintain and enjoy every day. What really means the most to me?
If I put it in those terms I come up with a quick list of values:
relationships
family
aesthetics
knowledge
faith
acknowledgment
freedom
growth
I know you may look at this list and say, well duh, who doesn't value those things. But really think about it. Is it important to you that things look pretty? That might not be high on everyone's list, but it is important to me. I value pretty. I work really hard to make our home, our yard and our stuff beautiful. I like to present dinner on pretty plates. I like my work space to be pretty. It is important to me. That might not be high on everyone's list. But, knowing myself, I'm not happy if it isn't pretty.
So you can see how starting to put down values and really thinking about where they fall in importance can help you to see how your talents/skills will match up. Speaking of talents/skills, I think that is a much harder task to identify those. I'm working on it. But, I kept coming back to...how does that fit in my value list? So, I decided to focus on this one first.
What is your most important value?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Getting a Plan
An interesting thing happens when you start to say out loud what you are doing. As I was explaining to my Coach, Lisa Dalton, about this huge epiphany and what it meant to me, I was uncomfortable. Now, Lisa is an open minded, easy-going woman who never judges. So, she pressed me on my discomfort.
I wanted desperately to be able to put a plan together...because I am the queen of project plans. I want to have tasks to do so that I know if I am on track. I wanted to define what I am doing. I wanted to be able to put an elevator speech together that didn't sound like I was having a mid-life crisis. I wanted to "package" my journey. As a matter of fact, I told her the words "journey" and "quest" make me a little uneasy. She still pressed.
"Why do you need to define this? What do you care what people think?"
Fair questions, but it isn't about what other people think. It is about my own judgement. Every time I do some kind of DISC or Myers Briggs profiles I come out with a high level of drive, determination. Things that are important to me are power, acknowledgement, leadership. You get the picture. I'm more the mind-set of a CEO not a flower child.
Now don't be offended if you are on a similar journey. I really don't think this is a flower child type of exercise. I do believe that it is a growth exercise and these are my own hurdles. But, when I say it out loud I feel like I'm not being authentic.
So she pressed. Then why am I doing this? What is the point if it is not who I am. Well, there is the $60,000 question. The "who I am" part. I don't think that I have done a good job of explaining what I want out of this. So, I think there is a certain amount of "packaging" that must happen. I can do yoga, meditate, read books, become vegan...but that's the movie (Eat Love Pray) not my life.
With all this in mind I will start to do some planning. I have given myself permission to be on this journey for 365 days. If I have some small goals along the way then it will feel more authentic. I'll keep you posted and hope you will join me on your own journey.
I wanted desperately to be able to put a plan together...because I am the queen of project plans. I want to have tasks to do so that I know if I am on track. I wanted to define what I am doing. I wanted to be able to put an elevator speech together that didn't sound like I was having a mid-life crisis. I wanted to "package" my journey. As a matter of fact, I told her the words "journey" and "quest" make me a little uneasy. She still pressed.
"Why do you need to define this? What do you care what people think?"
Fair questions, but it isn't about what other people think. It is about my own judgement. Every time I do some kind of DISC or Myers Briggs profiles I come out with a high level of drive, determination. Things that are important to me are power, acknowledgement, leadership. You get the picture. I'm more the mind-set of a CEO not a flower child.
Now don't be offended if you are on a similar journey. I really don't think this is a flower child type of exercise. I do believe that it is a growth exercise and these are my own hurdles. But, when I say it out loud I feel like I'm not being authentic.
So she pressed. Then why am I doing this? What is the point if it is not who I am. Well, there is the $60,000 question. The "who I am" part. I don't think that I have done a good job of explaining what I want out of this. So, I think there is a certain amount of "packaging" that must happen. I can do yoga, meditate, read books, become vegan...but that's the movie (Eat Love Pray) not my life.
With all this in mind I will start to do some planning. I have given myself permission to be on this journey for 365 days. If I have some small goals along the way then it will feel more authentic. I'll keep you posted and hope you will join me on your own journey.
Invitation
You are invited to join Gini Linnabery Swancy for the journey of your life!!
Where: Everywhere
How: As I post exercises and plans to become the most authentic self possible, I invite you to join
in.
Either post comments on your own experiences or if you have a lot to say, create your own
blog. Link your blog to mine and let's start a community of people sharing a life-changing
experience.
I hope you will join me. I think that everyone has something to share that will help somebody else. If you would like more contentment and joy in your life without having to travel the world...then come aboard!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I've always admired those people who always knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. When they were children they said, "I'm gonna be a....doctor/nurse, teacher, mom, pilot, etc." They never said, "I want to be..." They said it as a definitive. I know a lot of those people who became exactly what they said they would.
In contrast, I didn't have a definite. I was going to be a ballerina (too short and stout), an actress, president, etc. Always something in the limelight. But, by the time I was in my teens I thought I would be a writer. I always had somewhere in my mind that I had something to say. At the time, I was reading Danielle Steele novels. Go ahead and laugh, but they swept me away to a world of raw lust and deep, unabated love. It was a fantasy, an escape that I imagined someday I might create for others. Did you hear that vague, doubtful sentence?
I believe that is the difference in the people who go on to do what they dream of doing and the people who pin-ball around trying to figure out what they should be doing. Vague versus visual...yup visualizing may be the key. Of course as kids, we didn't know what that meant. But, don't you think someone like Lebron James visualized himself as a professional basketball player. He probably saw himself on the court in a giant arena. He could probably tell you what it felt like for the thousands of fans to cheer for him. He probably said, "I'm gonna play in the NBA." I imagine he saw all of that in his mind, was clear that was what he wanted and then set about doing what was possible to make it happen.
Yea, don't think I meant you could kick back in a comfy chair and imagine yourself as president then the Secret Service would knock on your door and pick you up to take you to your office. Don't be ridiculous. The visualization step is the one that kicks off the rest. You see it...feel it...believe it and then work on getting there. You may have heard people say, "Act as if...." You know, act as if it is a given that you are going to become a...fill in the blank. Again, sounds easy. It's not. If it were we would all be exactly what we want to be.
That kind of brings me full circle to what my Coach and I were talking about the other day. I want to "package" this journey. I want to be able to tell people...this is what I am doing. I want a business card. So shoot me, I know that isn't very woowoo of me. I'm suppose to be on what sounds like a spiritual quest and I want a business card?!! Yea, that's who I am. Someone who needs an identity. But, then it hit me. It is about more than that.
I want to know what to do when I grow up? I want to "act as if..."? (With this next sentence my phone will ring and my coach will tell me....told you so). Then I need to embrace where I am, own it, put a damn label on it and make a business card. Then, and only then will I really be on the path. So far I've been pussy-footing around at the head of the path. Take the journey already!! See it, feel it, believe it and get my ass in gear!
So, tell me can you visualize your purpose? Are you already on your path? I really want to know!
In contrast, I didn't have a definite. I was going to be a ballerina (too short and stout), an actress, president, etc. Always something in the limelight. But, by the time I was in my teens I thought I would be a writer. I always had somewhere in my mind that I had something to say. At the time, I was reading Danielle Steele novels. Go ahead and laugh, but they swept me away to a world of raw lust and deep, unabated love. It was a fantasy, an escape that I imagined someday I might create for others. Did you hear that vague, doubtful sentence?
I believe that is the difference in the people who go on to do what they dream of doing and the people who pin-ball around trying to figure out what they should be doing. Vague versus visual...yup visualizing may be the key. Of course as kids, we didn't know what that meant. But, don't you think someone like Lebron James visualized himself as a professional basketball player. He probably saw himself on the court in a giant arena. He could probably tell you what it felt like for the thousands of fans to cheer for him. He probably said, "I'm gonna play in the NBA." I imagine he saw all of that in his mind, was clear that was what he wanted and then set about doing what was possible to make it happen.
Yea, don't think I meant you could kick back in a comfy chair and imagine yourself as president then the Secret Service would knock on your door and pick you up to take you to your office. Don't be ridiculous. The visualization step is the one that kicks off the rest. You see it...feel it...believe it and then work on getting there. You may have heard people say, "Act as if...." You know, act as if it is a given that you are going to become a...fill in the blank. Again, sounds easy. It's not. If it were we would all be exactly what we want to be.
That kind of brings me full circle to what my Coach and I were talking about the other day. I want to "package" this journey. I want to be able to tell people...this is what I am doing. I want a business card. So shoot me, I know that isn't very woowoo of me. I'm suppose to be on what sounds like a spiritual quest and I want a business card?!! Yea, that's who I am. Someone who needs an identity. But, then it hit me. It is about more than that.
I want to know what to do when I grow up? I want to "act as if..."? (With this next sentence my phone will ring and my coach will tell me....told you so). Then I need to embrace where I am, own it, put a damn label on it and make a business card. Then, and only then will I really be on the path. So far I've been pussy-footing around at the head of the path. Take the journey already!! See it, feel it, believe it and get my ass in gear!
So, tell me can you visualize your purpose? Are you already on your path? I really want to know!
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