What does "finding myself" mean?

I think the term "finding myself" is strange.  I'm not really lost...at least not geographically.  But, if our spirit has a landscape then I think this time in my life would be described as driving without a map or gps.  I've got choices for transportation or moving but which way do I go?

If I really think about it that is exactly how I feel.  Nothing looks real familiar.  I have some vague idea that I'm supposed to be going a certain way.  Then I turn to head in that direction and uncertainty strikes.  I'm back in that place where I'm afraid to move because I could get further away from where I'm suppose to be if I'm on the wrong path.

So, I guess I would describe "finding myself" as a process.  There must be a map somewhere.  I've got to figure out what the destination is suppose to be.  There are signs.  If I'm really still and carefully look at what is in front of me the path will start to reveal itself.

In the movie, Eat Love Pray, Julia Roberts (who plays Liz Gilbert) turns to meditation.  It doesn't seem to be easy.  She resists, she fidgets and she escapes in just minutes after she enters the meditation room.  I've never really understood meditation.  I've always felt just like that character.  But, when I think of stillness, I think of meditation.  Of letting my mind become open and free to let my spirit take charge.

Sounds like I have a clue.  Ha, I've read the books and watched films.  I don't get it.  I'm going to have to find a way to be still.  Books and films clearly aren't the path for enlightenment for me.

I think I will start with a plan to figure out a plan tomorrow!