Jump Start the Process

As we help to prepare Murphy, my 17 year old stepson, for college I am in awe of the tools that are available to him.  On the site where we signed him up for the SAT there were all of these wonderful tests for personality, career path and majors.  I wondered if so many people my age would be trying to discover themselves now if these tools had been available when we went to school.

But, is it really ever too late?  Only when we are dead!!  As I have been working on my values, skills and talents outline I've wondered if it would be helpful to take the same tests that Murphy took.  Unfortunately, they wanted me to sign up for the SAT before they would provide the tools.  And, that ship has sailed!!  But there is always another way.

The DISC profile analyzes your personality and values!  It will also tell you what career is most likely to fit your particular personality.  The good news is that my values are in line with what I have been finding on my own.  Where I found real help was in getting more clear on my desires and skills.

I find that clarity is often hard to get my arms around when the task seems daunting.  Writing down my skills/talents and values felt important when I decided on these steps.  But, putting pen to paper and making something out of it has been difficult.  Stepping stones like the DISC profile or one of the many other tests available help to jump start the process.

What type of personality are you?

Step 2

I would love to say that this step is about visualizing what I want in my life.  The problem with that is that I don't know what I want.  I can come closer to saying what I don't want than what I want.  That's the problem.

I believe in manifestation of our dreams.  I don't buy into the whole theory of "The Secret" where you open a catalogue of the universe and order up what you want.  I think it is more complex than that.  In addition to knowing what you want and being able to "order" it, I think you must act "as if".  For example, if you say, "I'm an actress", but you never audition for parts...it probably isn't true.  Sophia Coppola isn't going to ring your doorbell and tell you that you are the best person for a part in her next movie.  No, if you say you are an actress then you go to auditions, acting classes, read the rags, get an agent, etc.  You do the things that actresses do.  Then you are on your way.

But, in addition to "acting as if", I think there are other factors.  You always hear the term, "Karma is a bitch."  Well, if you lie, cheat and steal to manifest your dream, it probably won't turn out like you hoped.  Don't you think we were put here to be the best person we can be?  To serve a purpose?

Purpose...yea, that would be the core of "who I am."  So visualization will have to wait for another step while I figure out purpose.  My coach and I touched on this not too long ago.  But, in usual fashion I was impatient to get to the "doing" stage.  I've always been so driven to "be" somebody that I haven't given myself the chance to really explore what my skills and talents are.

So, Step 2, is to make a comprehensive list of skills and talents.  Blow them out with lots of detail.  Give them qualitative and quantitative measures.  Do you love to do something?  Are you an expert at something?  Do you have extreme depth of knowledge about something?  And, don't forget to add those less tangible talents.  I believe that listening, loving and nurturing are critical to society.  If you are really good at that...put it down.

I hope you will join me in this step.  I think it will be fun and eye opening.  If you have trouble, ask someone close to you to help you identify your strengths.  Sometimes it is easier for them to see you than it is for you to see you.

Getting a Plan

An interesting thing happens when you start to say out loud what you are doing.  As I was explaining to my Coach, Lisa Dalton, about this huge epiphany and what it meant to me, I was uncomfortable.  Now, Lisa is an open minded, easy-going woman who never judges.  So, she pressed me on my discomfort.

I wanted desperately to be able to put a plan together...because I am the queen of project plans.  I want to have tasks to do so that I know if I am on track.  I wanted to define what I am doing.  I wanted to be able to put an elevator speech together that didn't sound like I was having a mid-life crisis.  I wanted to "package" my journey.  As a matter of fact, I told her the words "journey" and "quest" make me a little uneasy.  She still pressed.

"Why do you need to define this?  What do you care what people think?"

Fair questions, but it isn't about what other people think.  It is about my own judgement.  Every time I do some kind of DISC or Myers Briggs profiles I come out with a high level of drive, determination.  Things that are important to me are power, acknowledgement, leadership.  You get the picture.  I'm more the mind-set of a CEO not a flower child.

Now don't be offended if you are on a similar journey.  I really don't think this is a flower child type of exercise.  I do believe that it is a growth exercise and these are my own hurdles.  But, when I say it out loud I feel like I'm not being authentic.

So she pressed.  Then why am I doing this?  What is the point if it is not who I am.  Well, there is the $60,000 question.  The "who I am" part.  I don't think that I have done a good job of explaining what I want out of this.  So, I think there is a certain amount of "packaging" that must happen.  I can do yoga, meditate, read books, become vegan...but that's the movie (Eat Love Pray) not my life.

With all this in mind I will start to do some planning.  I have given myself permission to be on this journey for 365 days.  If I have some small goals along the way then it will feel more authentic.  I'll keep you posted and hope you will join me on your own journey.